blue

Sometimes I wish I had that thing that many bloggers have - to write fluently, uninterruptedly, beautifully without the need to proof read thousand times before pressing the publish button.
I seriously wish I could do that. That and express myself in a way that the reader might feel something when reading such phrasal constructions.
But I just sound phony.

Vacations are ending, sorta. Life changed. I've studied for the first time in my life like a student should study to resit 4 exams in a week. At that time I wished I had taken more time during the 3 years to study and have good grades... but awesomely, I don't know how, I managed to have pretty good grades and get accepted at my first choice (second counting MIT), that is Imperial College of London.
All sciency, all geeky, all everything that I think I want. Or not. I'm a strange person... Sometimes I think I made the wrong choice from the beginning and that I should've gone to do Fine Arts instead... not because I'm talented but because I love Arts. It's something that could mean nothing... empty brushstrokes or literally change your perception. I love Arts. It's something that requires hard work, a lot of thought, a lot of attitude and also a lot of "FUCK OFF, LEAVE ME ALONE." And I often think that I don't feel this kind of passion with Mathematics... Mathematics is beautiful, is pure, is so rational, so transcendent... but I can't help to think that I need something subjective, I need to create and do things that not everyone will understand through pure logic. I'm an artist at heart I guess and I still can't love maths as much as some people do... That breathe and live mathematics... I can't. I must find something to apply.
Or not. I don't know.
Somedays mathematics seems to be perfect, self sufficient on its' own. Other days it seems so empty and meaningless... Argh!

GONNA WATCH A FILM. <3