Life lately.


London resident for 2 years.

14 tube lines, 7.8 million habitants, thousands of overcrowed decaying concrete buildings and a mild weather. London.

One can't help it to feel lost in this busy, on steroids city, overwhelmed by flocks of known faces, ticking clocks, arythmitcal steps - a true city symphony. Just lost souls marching to this unknown everlasting tune. We may all cohabit together, but one can't deny we don't live together. It's smothering and lonely in the sense that these 670 connections I have are only just that, "connections", thin lines that connect me to you, all in effect of a lazy click.

Things are vapid. Morals and wills, desires are ephemere. Maybe this idea is itself vapid. I shall not continue.

I want to grow up, break this hedonist cycle that seems leads to virtually nowhere aside from light, floaty conversations, bad choices and noise. I can't stand you, figuratively speaking of the collective of London inhabitants, look at me and see nothing more than lips, black hair, curves, heels. We are much more than this.

And this has just revived.

Fuck yeah.


Do you know that feeling of not being able to breath properly because something terribly wrong has happened? You open your mouth in despair and inhale as hard as you can but you still feel dizzy and about to faint.

There are some things that can make your whole world, truth change. Everything you took as right or granted is no longer valid. And you just wish that life itself would be nothing more than perception. You just wished that death was not the end of the journey.

So you sit around, on the cold carpeted floor, looking through old photographs, old text messages, old notebooks, old sweaty shirts that never got around to get washed, wishing that these so real objects will bring them back, stop them from slowly slipping away from this world and ultimately, from your memory.

But it doesn't work.

And sooner or later, you will stand up and chuck these objects aside.

Because I am still alive, but you are not, anymore.


The first term is over.
It's hard to express everything in words.

It has been a really great experience. I'm looking forward to the next door.



London seen from above

Estou com aquele medo miudinho que vai crescendo dia após dia. Faltam 11 dias. Faltam 11 dias para sair de casa e começar uma vida independente num ambiente adulto, desconhecido e estrangeiro quando ainda não sou bem adulta. Faltam 11 dias para acabar o conforto de uma vida com a comida feita na mesa e a roupa lavada todos os dias. Faltam 11 dias para deixar de ver a minha família todos os dias e as pessoas todas que eu conheço. . .

Mas da mesma forma, faltam 11 dias para começar a universidade e a começar a formar uma pessoa respeitável e worth to live. 11 dias para a awesomeness of effin London - city of concerts and crazy wacko people.

É engraçado como eu passei o secundário todo com este objectivo, de estudar no estrangeiro numa Universidade boa, ou melhor, com essa fantasia pouco real e pouco meditada... nunca pensei que ia mesmo MESMO MESMO conseguir.

E já falta pouco para percorrer os corredores da minha casa, o caminho de casa até ao Pingo Doce, as ruelas inclinadas da baixa do Rossío, as estações de comboio obscuras e vazias, as ruas agora cheias de folhas de Outono com uma nostalgia... ainda por vir.

Portugal! Este país que por vezes me senti estrangeira mas que ao mesmo tempo me fez to curse quando a França nos ganhou DE NOVO no mundial de 2006.



Sometimes I wish I had that thing that many bloggers have - to write fluently, uninterruptedly, beautifully without the need to proof read thousand times before pressing the publish button.
I seriously wish I could do that. That and express myself in a way that the reader might feel something when reading such phrasal constructions.
But I just sound phony.

Vacations are ending, sorta. Life changed. I've studied for the first time in my life like a student should study to resit 4 exams in a week. At that time I wished I had taken more time during the 3 years to study and have good grades... but awesomely, I don't know how, I managed to have pretty good grades and get accepted at my first choice (second counting MIT), that is Imperial College of London.
All sciency, all geeky, all everything that I think I want. Or not. I'm a strange person... Sometimes I think I made the wrong choice from the beginning and that I should've gone to do Fine Arts instead... not because I'm talented but because I love Arts. It's something that could mean nothing... empty brushstrokes or literally change your perception. I love Arts. It's something that requires hard work, a lot of thought, a lot of attitude and also a lot of "FUCK OFF, LEAVE ME ALONE." And I often think that I don't feel this kind of passion with Mathematics... Mathematics is beautiful, is pure, is so rational, so transcendent... but I can't help to think that I need something subjective, I need to create and do things that not everyone will understand through pure logic. I'm an artist at heart I guess and I still can't love maths as much as some people do... That breathe and live mathematics... I can't. I must find something to apply.
Or not. I don't know.
Somedays mathematics seems to be perfect, self sufficient on its' own. Other days it seems so empty and meaningless... Argh!




Over this.


π: love you 10000 times more
π: proporcional Às tuas mamas.
キラー: é melhor começares a ir pos negativos entao >_>
π: estão a decrescer????
π: O_O'
π: LOL
π: naooooo
π: tb gosto do rabo

once you go black you can't go back
π: rly?
π: what about once you go asian..?
π: :x
π: the question is
π: do you wanna go asian? ': )
π: aka me with a black replica strap on.
π: shit, it all goes back to the same

キラー : diz k me amas puta
π: digo mais fodasse
π: amo-te minha grandessimima cabra

Gymnopedie 3, im version.
π: LOL.
π: teu neum.
π: teu neum...
π: teu neum, teu neum.
Tiago: LOOL
π: pin. pinpinpin pin niniri rir ri ri...

π: are you
π: mocking me
π: I just did an exam
π: music exam
π: that lasted 2 hours and half
π: so my sarcasm
π: sense of irony
π: and even grammar
π: went with to take a hike
π: now im just a vegetable
π: a really fucking steamed vegetable BECAUSE ITS SO FUCKING HOT IN HERE JESUS CHRIST.


#32 33 34





#30 #31



Mais para o lado emo da coisa o-o





Words of a stranger can make you feel something moving inside.


I can't imagine myself having a family, being married and having kids.
I can't imagine myself letting work and accomplishment go for family. I can't imagine myself going old in front of a fire, holding hands with my soulmate.

I always say that I won't make it until 35... and the truth is I'm not joking. I'm really being serious because I can't see anything more than this... It's all dark, gray, soulless and bleak and nothing more.

It seems so futile, so meaningless. It's so easy to let all of this go.

And I'm not depressed, I'm not sad and my life is pretty good right now. It seems on the right track. But somehow...

There is something missing already.
There is no light.
No light at all.

I guess I'm trying to make up for all the time I've been gone

I think this was my best idea ever. Overlapping A4 paper sheets. O_O

(I don't know that to type but I just feel like typing.)


About 3 months left to end this circle.
I'm so tired of High school. Tired of all the brainless kids, all the envy, all the pettiness, all the drama...

And I know that this is not High school exclusive. Everywhere, I will see this.
I wonder if this is all the world seems to have to offer and someday I will grow tired of all this. Really, really tired.


PS. I didn't make it to MIT! :(


Herzog on Nature


#20 21 22




Just passing by.


Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't

She supported her sweaty head with her hands, trying desperately to figure out a solution.

'There is no way out.' - she cried - 'Absolutely no way out.'

She stood up looking blankly, then, she slowly bent over to pick up a pack of cigarettes that had fallen from her husband's pocket and lit one.

She took the time savior it - it had been a long time since she smoked one of these babies. She thought how incredible a single roll of paper with some tobacco leaves could be so bloody amazing. Tiny bits of cancerous matter came filling up her lungs, she thought, but she did not care a single bit.

She expelled the smoke lazily, tasting every bit of it, remembering her times working as a waitress on a shady bar. 'I did everything except waiting tables.' - she laughed.
She left the ashes fall on the floor, something that she would never, ever have the guts to do before, then, after smoking that cigar, she tossed its remains to the floor too.

'I feel so liberated!'

She stretched lustfully on the kitchen's stiff chair as if she was in the most comfortable place on Earth, than, jumping off that cold chair, she tiptoed around the kitchen, looking around. The only light was a small faint red one from her charging cellphone, but that tiny little light seemed to have the strength to fill up the whole small crowded kitchen, and bizarre reflections of red scattered from the refrigerator to the broken oven.

'There is no way out, though.' - she said smiling.

She looked over to the clock, luckily, it was 2 AM in the morning. 5 hours until the sunrise, 5 hours to clean up a mess, 5 hours to dispose of a adult male body.



the weak rays of light shredded abruptly through the shadows. what seemed so dark and still suddenly became violently nitid and pure pitch black had been replaced by shades of gray and painful reflections. It was time to wake up.

'I'm tired.' - he opened his eyes.

'So tired.' - he slipped his frail, dying branches of an anemic tree, painted with spots and dots of liver, legs out of bed.

'Tired.' - he rose.

He glanced around. It had been almost a week since he last left that place, exactly after being plunged out of his 20 year job. 'Personnel cuts...' they said. 'Times of crisis... I'm sure, you of all these people, understand this.'

He understood alright. After all, he was the son of one of the greatest business man in history. Exactly 504 factories throughout the country, millions of employers and absurd amounts of cash flow. Aside from expensive toys, priceless education, absent father and drunk mother, what he could most remember was the Head offices of Steelwork. That austere and imponent building planted right between a small commercial establishment and a coffee shop that ended up closing was unforgettable, maybe for the long weekends he had spend there, or for the fights he listened between his parents, maybe it was the look of everyone upon him - he did not know for sure. Something had stroked forever in his memory, thought. It was the end of another week day and he had just completed his homework. He decided that staying put waiting to go home was a waste of time, so he snick out of one of the empty meeting rooms - where he would do his homework - and proceeded to the last level of that building. As the elevator opened and he set his foot outside, he heard some moaning noises. He felt excited.

Walking as light feathers through the cemented floor, he ended up in front of a open room, in which, he only took a small glance.
At that time, he did not comprehend. He saw his father - that austere marble looking figure - on top of a beautiful woman. But this time, his father was different. He panted and whispered things to this woman, as she moaned with the strangest noises. A scenery of a carnal festival had been layed into this boy's innocent eyes.

He stepped back, confused. He glanced around aimless and he saw a door leading to the roof top. He followed that.

Looking down to the streets, humans seemed small as ants, all rushing together in a mass of sloppy society. He wondered why were they rushing--

But what we could not understand was how did he ended up becoming such a failure. What happened in between this brilliant kid and this unemployed ex-factory worker? What had gone so terribly wrong, that the most prominent kid in god knows where had ended up becoming such. a. failure.

He looked puzzled at his empty small apartment and he sat on the floor, weeping.


#11 Small things


Today I was pretty emo but since it's almost Valentine's day, my girlfriend friend got me this thing, so I shouted in the middle of the school "MARRY ME DAMMNN YOU!".

Humiliation for both sides. And of course, this wouldn't be complete without a stupid unfunny remark: I guess that newton's 3rd law of motion also applies here.








23 random facts

1. My room is currently really, really messy.
2. I'm starting to listen to gigantic amounts of the so called "indie" music... Proving again that "indie is the new in".
3. Han is my third name! Few people call me Han and it sounds weird to be called Han. My first name is "Maria", the typical Portuguese name. Oh, the irony!
4. When I was a kid I was much much more brave and I didn't mind doing weird gymnastic stuff.
5. I do a full slit without any effort.
6. When I was young, I really wanted to do Karate but my parents made me do ballet.
7. Now I really want to do Taekwondo, Muya Tai or Kravmaga.
8. I hate to start a sentence with "I" but strangely, that happens too often.
9. Painting is my alter ego's profession.
10. I sing really BADLY. Like, really badly. I have no idea why I'm on the choir. Seriously. I think I sound like Merzbow, in a bad way.
11. Mike Patton is completely amazing. I secretly wish I was like him.
12. I still want a huge tree house. (and I will always want!)
13. British accent sounds really cool but I prefer to talk with americans because they are more *understandable* (does this make any sense?). But my favourite accent is english spoken by a french!
14. I imagine myself in 5 years as the most LEGEN

wait of it

DARY person ever.
The lifestyle I want is the one so called "always on the go", in which mostly: my whole life can be fitted into a suitcase and travel towards all globe.
15. I make too many -unfunny- jokes.
16. 99% of the photos I am in, I am making a weird expression... Including my passport photo.
17. Talking about my passport, it has expired! On January! Shame! I really need to change it...
18. I quote Immanuel Kant too often.
19. Once upon the time, I could actually watch an episode of anime without subtitles and understand the whole thing. And I also wrote a short story - a page lol - in Japanese.
20. Melpo Mene, the band, is just so good. SO GOOD. SO GOOD.
21. Once upon the time, I would only read Dostoevsky and look at books like Harry Potter and weep "OH, THE HUMANITY".
22. I want to sing/play music in a train station.
23. Guitarists are so, so, so, so awesome.


So while doing some Physics exercises, I noticed that for instance, you have a very small hole and a certain amount of volum of water coming out, you can reach high velocities (CAPTAIN OBVIOUS TO THE RESCUE, wait I'm not finished). So, if you have the mass of the water and you calculate the momentum and then the variation of momentum, you can get the force. Wait for it. After you get the force you calculate the area of, say, a very small circle (the exit of the hose) and you get the pressure.
WAIT, then, you google something like: "fracture bones maximum amount of pressure threshold" or something, and you get yourself a bone fracturing HOSE. OH YEAH.
Does this make ANY sense?
You know, it's a tad late so I'm half asleep. I shall think about this tomorrow when I'm less sleepy.

I've got a translator for 50€ full service. WINRAR.
I'm still poor but hey, 200€ to 50€ is a good improvement. =')



Let's see. So today I took a gigantic nap because I was feeling seriously tired... And when I woke up, I still wanted to sleep - phail!
I also sat down and STUDIED high school Physics. That's new.
I'm also trying to get some documents into translation (Portuguese to English) and I'm pretty much going: WHAT!?!?!? Because it's SO DAMN EXPENSIVE (at least 120€ for 4 pages...)! Here I am applying for Financial Aid and I need to pay about 250€ to gather up the materials. Pure, pure genius.

And my TOEFL results are coming out in 3 days.

I want to go to University so baaaad! Until then, I must keep on trying to study. And question: Is it bad to, in the middle of an explanation, blurt out random facts about gravitation and theories that aren't taught in High School but are the most "current" stuff? Well, I kind of fear that my teacher will go: "YEAH THEN YOU COME HERE AND GIVE THE CLASS MISS SMARTYPANTS." - and that would totally be awesome... Or not.

I'm seriously sleepy and wait, multitasking is awesome.
I've "saved" 40min because while I was watching Torchwood - It is horrible that I find Captain Harkness completely awesome? - I was also exercising. WIN!

"Hello I look like mister plastic and I'm totally not reading that CT scan."
I'd photoshop this pic but my computer is SLOW.


My private diary transcript!Po

" Cheguei ao Picoas Plaza pela manhãzinha, como quem diz, pelas 9 e tal da manhã – cerca de 35 minutos antes do previsto. (denote-se, portanto, a minha imensa paranóia de chegar atrasada.)
Chegado ao local, deparei-me com meia dúzia de esplanadas vazias.
“Bolas, não sei como é o senhor.”

Basicamente, sempre que passava um senhor com cara de “XXXXXX-Isso-querias-tu!”, que, sendo um nome normal e português, encaixava em qualquer espécimen com pêlos faciais, melhor, do sexo masculino, o pensamento: “z0mg. Sera, sera?”, num sotaque espanhol, ressoava-me pela cabeça. Tanto quanto sabia, podia ter 12 anos e ser um enfant terrible – algo que achei bastante engraçado e assustador – como ter 65 anos – algo que também achei bastante assustador e engraçado.
Bom, eventualmente sentei-me numa esplanada a ler Atlas Shrugghed, à espera que o relógio mudasse para as 9.55 - 5 minutos antes da hora combinada - com o propósito de mandar uma mensagem a dizer o nome do café, para não parecer muito estranha por estar lá 30 minutos antes.
Verdade se diga, não sei se li muito. Entre parágrafos lá olhava para o telemóvel a ver as horas. Sei que a Dagny – protagonista do livro – se encontrava num comboio e que ia ter com o cientista que trabalhava com ela para descobrir o funcionamento daquele motor electroestático, e acabara de pedir jantar para dois: ela e um sujeito desempregado, que afirmava ter sido o impulsionador da nova lei com base na necessidade – Caros leitores, leiam o livro! Encomendem de Inglaterra, como eu fiz, se for necessário! Entretanto, a meio do discurso do desempregado reparei que eram horas e comecei a escrever uma mensagem: “Estou no café tal quê e tal” – pressing send, quando, pling: new message – como o meu telemóvel é awesome, apareceu o conteúdo da mensagem: “Estou no café tal e tal, no canto circular da divisão 2D. Factorial de 4875839729298!” – Ok. Não foi isto, felizmente. Mas basicamente, estava do lado de dentro do lugar. “OH SNAP. Deixei o senhor à espera. OH NÃO--”
Maria chica, foge!” – interrompeu-me o subconsciente espanhol – qual é a coisa pelo espanhol, mesmo?
Assim, caminhei para a entrevista, com uma cara interior de quem acabou de trincar um grandessíssimo limão e um pseudo-sorriso de quem está prestes a virar costas e fugir – acho eu.
Falando em termos de Ultima Online, isto equiparava-se a quando, basicamente, um nOOb entra a correr para um portal que acabou de ser aberto por um PK l337, onde possivelmente iria perder a cabeça e ser humilhado para sempre e perdido algures na grande Realm... para sempre um fantasma a dizer OooooOoooOOOooOOoooooOOoo.
Felizmente não aconteceu tal (im)provável cenário. Uau! Não tinha 12 anos! Não fez o tal gesto estereotipado que as mulheres negras fazem enquanto estalam os dedos e fazem um ruído desaprovador com os lábios. Não disse “Lmao you can’t match MIT’s awesomeness you lamezord.”, nem “Lmao. Asians. We have too many.”, nem "YOU SUCK [/unreal tournment voice]", nem “Orly, k lol kthx bye 5 min GTG dewd.” and nem se transformou num bicho de 7 cabeças e me mordeu um joelho e também não se transformou numa chimera... Nem... ok já chega. Resumindo, era uma pessoa!
Ok, era agora que devia dar detalhes sobre a ENTREVISTA EM SI mas devido ao estado ultra, ultra, ultra nervosismo em que eu estava, não me lembro de quase nada.
1º minuto “Olá, tudo bem? Ah, és a Maria.
2º minuto “Não vou avaliar o teu inglês mas a tua entrevista vai ser em inglês.” Pensem o que quiserem mas se eu estivesse no lugar do senhor acrescentaria um “lmao” mental à frase – eu bem sei que foi isso que aconteceu!

WHAT THE WHAT. WHAT. WHAT WHAT WHAT. Acho que a minha cara do limão ultra amargo revelou-se.
Tell me a bit about yourself.” – I probably vomited everything I could think of, which was very little since I was: “zomg so scared”. I *think* I talked about my band, music, rockets.
Rockets ay? Well tell me about that.” Ahhh so like. Ahhh Rockets are like. Ahhm. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhm. Ultra Aaaaaaaaahm.
I did went blank on some stuff and that was sad - Uber sad. Made me sound pretty lame. D: Anyway, my interviewer said something about "at MIT you have a huge variety of people and characteristic [body] odours!" so you can get a gist of it. Lmao. My interviewer was awesome, seriously! Somehow it reminded me of the judges on my Music Exam... Ok this has zero to do with the interview but last year on my final oral exam, 2 judges (out of 4 T^T) were really cool and made sort of jokes and stuff to make you confortable and less nervous. I think it helps. Dear MIT, keep recruiting cool people like this one! Well, like me*gets shot*"


ain't no sunshine~~

I almost feel asleep at Music School, 4 hours straight of Piano and Music Theory? Coooome on, even Gaara would fell asleep.



Rockets and random

Ok so this sounds like fun doesn't it?
Drawing, drawing.
Well yeah ok it is a bit fun, BUT NONETHELESS, I need to sleep. Doing stuff like this:

at 2 AM is a bit mental. Ok it is not mental at all. It is mental only because I'm really, really tired! And tomorrow I must completely stop neglecting my piano and my music studies. Eeeeeeeck.

Now, I go maths. Neighborhoods and Topology. Yey!
I don't make sense.




So, I am 17 years old. And a month. And twenty days.
Yah, I feel old. It is said that the prime time of an average human brain is around 21 years old. That leaves me about 3 years and 10 months and 11 days to work my way up to KyleXY and dunno.


#6 LaTeX

I'm doing my report while listening to my newest additions to the playlist - Yura Yura Teikoku.
Not bad, not bad, but nothing mind blowing or uauuu-like.
And I haven't touched LaTeX in a long time - this sounds perverted - and I pretty much spent a good deal of time figuring out what to do... But luckily, this is no C++. It's quite intuitive and easy, so yea! Long live well formatted mathematical equations!


#5 Comfort Food

Comfort food, the best thing for students and people without the skill to cook.

2 slices of bread
chicken breast
slices of pickles
loads of ketchup and mustard

This is pretty much my favorite food lately lol.


#4 and more

So I can say that this weekend was pretty intense.
I woke up at 8 o'clock, 5 hours of sleep and very very, but oh so very tired yet, obliged to be ready to take my TOEFL and go to Coimbra School of Physics.

9:30, I reach the testing center. 10:00, the test hasn't started yet. WHY? 11:00, I finally start the test.
Listening part. Wait, the headphones aren't working. WTF. SERIOUSLY WTF. This made me so stressed out... Even if this doesn't kill my grade, it made me go AAAAAAAA. Then, Speaking part: Microphone doesn't respond.
I was getting desperate as hell and now I'm really annoyed. I just hope my test doesn't go all crappy because of this. I'm seriously scared...
Anyway. 14:50, I finally end the test.

'Taxi please, take me to the Lisbon main train station!'

Reaching the huge huge station I end up buying my ticket to Coimbra. 20 minutes before the train arrives. Ok, well, time to talk with my brother, saying that the TOEFL went like crap and that I'm going to have less than 90. I just hope that it is >90, or else it's "good bye MIT for ever T^T".
Anyway, I then realize that I haven't eat in 6 hours, so I end up buying some overpriced lame food at the train station cafe - my 2 days sandwich diet starts now!
Train arrives. 2 hours and 200km to go. I spend the time in the train between solving mathematical problems and falling asleep - so tired.

17.40, reached Coimbra. 18.00, reached University.

18:30, Lecture about Innovation and physics on real life appliances.

20:00, Dinner time. Ok, so I didn't know anyone, I had just reached there, but luckily, and due to my randomness skills, it is pretty easy to start talking with people. Cool and interesting people out there, just like I expected!

20:45 Jazz and Physics lecture - Very cool! Very very cool! But the lecturer, a sort of student I think, would often lose track of the theme and lose direction, but cool nonetheless. There was also a jazz/improv guitarrist that tryed to explain the blues scale but ended up providing something like this: "Major and 7thChord, with a diminished 5th, 2nd major, etc..." I doubt that a person without the 3rd grade in music would understand... It is time like these that I'm glad that I'm also having music education instead of just instrument.

23.00, wait, there is another lecture about astronomy, guys!
As the professor said: "This is probably the latest lecture I have ever given with so much audience [55 people]."

02:00, Sacred rest!
2nd day:
07:00, WAKE UP EVERYNYAH~ Luckily, my energy was charged!
9:00 to 13:13 - Waves and behavior
14.30 to 16:00 - Fundamental Matter components
16:15 to 17:15 - Quark! Challenges

18:49 - Train back to Lisbon

I'm pretty tired. I still managed to sightread some Michael Nyman - which isn't that hard actually. HARMONY IS GREAT TO SIGHTREAD REALLY REALLY GREAT! ALL THE MUSICIANS OUT THERE, THINK IN HARMONY!


Petite Suite



lazy sunday.

Notes from ground floor came as a reference to Dostoevsky's Notes from the Underground - great piece of literature. I used to maintain a blog called "Notes from the 1st Floor" back in the 10th grade but it died due to lack of time and/or inspiration.
Actually, I could've made the "Notes from 2nd Floor", meaning elevation of the spirit and everything but that would be too pretentious, wouldn't it?
Well, what you will find here is mainly rants and everyday life of an unusual person, so yeah, you really don't know what you will find.

But do stick around!


Project 365: Posting a pic per day, with some sort of meaning, or at least, 356 photos.


2009 to do list!

Clavicle Piercings;
Do something really, really outrageous;
Project 365;
Write a short story;
Install Oblivion;
Play more with my bands;
Play Petite Suite 1st movement by António Fragoso;
Go to Coimbra;
Have a 20,0 in maths;
Enroll in a good University;
Run on an early morning;
Read Thomas Nagel's books... >_>' and Russell.



Shipment Activity Location Date & Time
Delivered CAMBRIDGE MA 02139 01/13/09 11:58am
Arrival at Unit CAMBRIDGE MA 02139 01/13/09 7:06am
Inbound International Arrival ISC NEW YORK NY(USPS) 01/01/09 7:56pm


Anyhow, today I was in the mood for some integrals - no, not cereals - but turns out that my gigantic Applied Mathematics book is sort of... Finance-ish related. (sort of meaning totally).
So it was kind of meh. I should start reusing Mathematica. I stopped because of classes and now I feel dumb and old. I'm 17 and haven't accomplished anything HUGE. So yeah, I'm a bit disappointed.
Wait, I'm going to map a torus and show some SS!

some portfolio preview


Project Quark!

So okay, I'm going to be seriously nerdy.

I'm going to participate in Project Quark! - a project held by Coimbra University's Physics Department to prepare Olympics and other nerdy students who like physics. - points to self.

Big, big nerdy smile.

Right now I'm trying to build myself a portfolio and I'm having a pain in the arse!


Physics and NON boring lectures

Aside from listening to online lectures, I've been doing DIY lenses for my DSLR. Macro lenses and Fisheye filter. Oh yeah.
DIY is awesomely cheap!


ubuntu is slow

I can say that I'm one of those who love opensource stuff. Like any opensource lover, one must use Linux.
Well, when I started, there was that amazing novelty feel. z0mg it's the terminal - sort of feel, and also the - z0mg I need to install 10204349 libraries before I can read mp3 - yay.
We, the geeks, have that weird spirit for things that we shouldn't compute, a sort of love for the unknown and masochist pleasure of spending 3 hours looking at something going - what the..?
Why would we otherwise spend time programming, using openBSD or going math-o-holic?

Anyway, although I'm completely one of those Linux-folks, I am here to complain. Like, a lot.
So, here's the deal.
Is it me or Ubuntu Dapper Drake (yeah I'm *that* old school) has this horrible, but really horrible image/graphics managemnent platform? And I've used XP pre-SP2 so I know what is SLOW and BAD so yeah. But Ubuntu is really, really bad. Try to use 2 windows of Firefox at the same time and you will completely die.
Maybe it's time to switch to text-mode.

And yes, I will update my Ubuntu.


Present yourself, please

So, this entry is pretty much inevitable.
Presenting yourself to the world. Standing naked in from of my invisible audience and desperately attempting to sound conventional or cool.

By now, you've noticed that you won't be reading one of those "hello my name is XXXX and I have 593! years old". But who knows? I like plot twists, like, a lot.

So, what am I? Firstly, I am this person who is currently typing... Aside from being a typer, I am also listening to some music. (Idalah-Abal - Electric Masada).
Now you are forming an idea about my person: Typer and listener of Avant-garde music.
Since I like to experiment things myself, I don't restrict to listening music. That's why I try to play some instruments. Piano when I'm feeling blue, guitar when I'm feeling rebellious.
And now I sound like a snob douche. That is just great. Right when I was getting my pants I got stripped to my underwear.
Anyway. You know, applying to college and trying to make yourself the product that they want is very weird. It's a sort of PLEASE PICK ME UP kind of marketing. We should just get ourselves some cool name and a slogan (essays) and send a pictures of us using a massive mascot outfit. Damn this was random.
Sometimes I'm described as weird, because I like to watch Tsai Ming Liang films and absolutely hate those hollywood explosion-filled ones. I also say film instead of movie because film sounds more artistic.
I think that I'd totally shag mandelbrot set or buddhabrot set, whatever comes up first, but I like to think myself as asexual because it's more fun and less heart breaking for the others.
I've been compared to Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory and I completely jizzed my pants - on my mind, that is.

Oh wait - I have another 2 blogs:
http://omghighschool.blogspot.com/ - my webcomic
http://simetricpart.blogspot.com/ - my chinese blog lmao.

See? Now you know me. You don't know my name, my age, my location, my looks or my heritage, but somehow, you know me much more than you'd know if I would just to say these things. You know that I'm random, nerdy, asexual, did I say random?, pseudo-artistic, egocentric, elitist, weird, have a thing for Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory and like to watch these cheesy sitcoms. Again, much, much more interesting than knowing my name and my age! But since I like plot twists; my name is Han and I'm 17 years old.

Nice to meet you all!


Things to do before 2009

1. Do something outrageous
2. Sew a skirt
3. Paint a handbag
4. Dress as comfy as possible
5. Write and compose a song Pedojesus for Captain Dildo & his oversized nuts
6. Run away from home with Tiago
7. Do a cover of some emoass song Run - Snow Patrol
8. Juggle with 4 balls
9. Go to the gay disco Trumps
10. Go jogging in the early morning
11. Do a photo shoot
12. Drive my father's car
13. Paint my bedroom walls
14. Spend a sleepless night Working!
15. Help a friend
16. Protest against something
17. Protest against prejudice!
18. Learn 1 page of António Fragoso's Petite Suite nº1 Well, I learned it...
19. Have a productive rehearsal with the band
20. Write a short story
21. Re-organize my room
22. Go to a noise concert
23. Launch a Rocket KNO3 + Glucose = instant fun
24. Use highHIGHheels Ok, not that high.
25. Install Ubuntu's latest version
26. Redesign my website
27. Have an adventure My life is quite an adventure
28. Laugh so hard that I cry
29. Watch all films based on Ayn Rand's novels
30. Read Dostoevsky
31. Eat like I can't gain weight Christmas
32. Make up with a friend K, I hope.
33. Do a painting
34. Play music for money and fans
35. Make up with god o_o'
36. Dance like no one is watching
37. Eat less unhealthy food I've started an healthy diet!
38. Smile like it's the last day I can do it
39. Run under the rain
40. Do 70% of this list ?!

Hello world

26 minutes to reach 2009 in GM Time.